23 November, 2012

Couples gross me out. Period. Especially when there is a 5 year difference. When one of them is a minor and the other one is legally able to drink. It’s creepy to say the least.

That is all.

11 November, 2012

I have never loved a movie as much as The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I read the book a few months back, and I went to see the movie last night with my mother and sister.

I really have no words to describe this film other than perfect.

I am most certainly going to buy the movie when it comes out of DVD. Maybe 2 copies. But the book was so perfectly written, and the movie did an good job of demonstrating the depth of the hurt that was felt by Charlie.

I could not utter a word after the film, and even now, I feel as though trying to put words to it is a disgrace.

But I feel complete after watching it.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:

          “She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time.”

          “And the people in the photographs always seem a lot happier than you are.”

          “This moment will just be another story someday.”

          “I just want you to know that you’re very special… and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has.”

28 August 2012

I’m always amazed at how quickly you can get to know someone.

That despite only knowing them for a week and a half you are able to call them your friends without hesitation or reservations.

But then I think about my friends from my home, and how they’ve gone off to a variety of cities, and that you won’t be able to see them face to face for the longest time. It’s heartbreaking, really.

My roommate is a very anti-affectionate person, and I honestly can’t remember the last time I gave a friend a simple hug.

I just want a hug. Nothing more. And not from a love interest either.

Hopefully it won’t be much longer because I’m slowly losing my sanity. My patience is gradually dwindling. And I fear that one day I will just snap.

Other than that, college is going well. I’m now half way through my second week here, and I think I have a grip on when I need to study, but I’m still terrible at procrastinating.

“Although loving you was cautious, I never minded it.”

24 August 2012

My thoughts are scattered. And I can’t concentrate for very long. Who knew how amazing someone can make you feel.

I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I feel as though I am just going with my gut and that I am going to accept whatever consequences come from it.

Best advice yet: “Don’t fuck it up.”

And for the life of me, I know that I will.

I’ll end up bringing something up that shouldn’t have. Or I’ll do something physically that wil hurt that person.

I’m a wreck.

2 August 2012

The fact that my friends are already leaving for college is finally sinking in. I feel like my heart is slowly being broken into numerous pieces with every passing day.

And my last day volunteering is this coming tuesday. I really don’t want to leave, and it’s tearing me apart.

My last day at Burger King is on Sunday, and even that isn’t making me any less glad at the moment.

I have a headache and I don’t want to feel anything.

When will this heartache end…

18 June 2012

Today I not only got a job, but I also went on my first date.

I walked into the fast food establishment and waited for the manager to talk to me, and she asked me if I had had any experience working a cash register. The only other pressing question she had was if I could work tomorrow. So, tomorrow I start work at 8am sharp. God, do I love working in the fast food industry… :/

After work, I got a shower and got ready for my date. We went to Champps Bar and Grill for dinner and then Maggie Moo’s for ice cream after. Overall, the date wasn’t too awkward, so that was nice, but my type of guy is not one who wears cowboy boots, blue jeans, a checkered button up shirt, and a camouflage baseball cap. Other than that, it was a decent first date.

But I’m not really interested in him. And yeah. 

15-17 June 2012

These past couple days I didn’t do much other than pack my suitcase and drive back home from my trip to Pennsylvania. 

The hotel we stayed at had a couple baseball teams staying there at the same time my family did, and I must say that it was quite a wonderful sight seeing them at breakfast the next morning! But we soon had to leave and start driving again. 

When I awoke on Sunday the 17th, I had a text from a guy that I had met a few years back where he asked for my number. The text simply said “Want to hang out tomorrow?” This guy is relatively attractive, so I said “That would be fun.” So tomorrow, when I’m back in town, I am going on a tentative “date”. Who knew that was possible?

14 June 2012

Today I went shopping, but it was the most unpleasurable experience I’ve had.

I woke up this morning feeling better, and I can feel it continually happening as each day passes. So for me, this is quite a good thing.

Around noon my mother asked my sister and I if we wanted to go shopping with her. Of course we said yes, but neither of us had gotten a shower yet. During the time that it took us to get our showers, my grandmother, who originally refused to go shopping with us, decided that she would not only go, but would be the one to drive us to the different places around town-which isn’t a whole lot anyways.

But my grandmother is crazy. It’s like 95 degrees outside and she is adament about staying in the car while we go shopping…and then she complains about how she wants to go home and that we forced her to take us shopping…Her logic doesn’t make sense to me in the least…

We went to a couple stores and I got a cute red/orange summer dress. I hope to wear it soon, but I don’t really ever wear dresses in the first place.

Parktown Restaurant was this cute place we went for dinner where they had all you can eat pasta and red sauce for about $5. It was delicious.

I’ve been busy so I don’t have much to say recently.

13 June 2012

Today was the first day of this trip that I genuinely laughed.

I woke up this morning feeling better than I had this past week. My nose was no longer runny and my chest congestion was not quite as bad. Thanks to these horrendous allergies, my appetite has gone down, and I’ve lost at least 3 pounds in the past couple days. At times like these, I am glad to have allergies from time to time.

I finished the book The Unincorporated Man today. My friend Seth (quattrokitten.tumblr.com) was the person who lent me the book back in December or something ridiculous like that. Because I was busy with keeping my grades up my last semester of high school I didn’t get much time to read it. And now that I have finished, I can’t help but kick myself for not reading it sooner…It has been one of the few books that I have truly enjoyed reading for pleasure, and now knowing that there is a sequel called The Unincorporated War, I can’t wait to get my hands on it!

Tonight my sister flew in from back home. I am continually amazed at how much one person can have on a situation. Since she got here, my boredom has decreased significantly and the overall mood of the house seemed to lighten. I really am just grateful for her finally showing up.

So a couple months ago I made out with a 26 year old guy that works in the same department that I volunteer in. We haven’t had what one would call “normal” interactions since. He barely even acknowledges my existence when he sees me, and our small talks have at least one other person in them. One night while I was volunteering and a couple weeks after graduation came and went, he asked me why I didn’t invite him to either my party or the actual ceremony. I flat out told him that we hadn’t talked in the longest time and that he never showed interest in going anyways. To compensate for my apparent inconsideration, I asked him if there was any way that I could make it up to him. Of course he said yes. Well two weeks passed by (this past Tuesday marking the two week period) and he had either forgotten about my offer and his reply, or he was just being as evasive as ever. So I text him asking if he wasn’t talking to me because I had done something that caused him to be mad at me, and he replies with
No! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you.” To which I replied, “Well to me it doesn’t seem like you have.” He responds, “Well I did. What are you doing tomorrow?”

At this point, I am beyond confused not only on an intellectual level, but also on an emotional level. As far as logic and reasoning go, I am lost as to whether he wants to get together because of my suggestion to compensate for not inviting him to graduation stuff or whether it’s more like a date. Which brings me to the emotional confusion. First of all, this was the first guy that I’ve ever kissed (more appropriate would be made out with) so I’m connected on more than a friend standard. Secondly, he has a way of beating around the bush instead of stating outright what he wants to say.

So I really just don’t know what to do, but at the moment, I’m taking him up on his offer to get together, but I know that despite my best efforts, whatever happens will have a twinge of awkward surrounding it.

I just don’t want to deal with stupid drama.

“Remember when life’s path is steep to keep your mind even.” ~Horace

12 June 2012

Today sucked worse than yesterday.

Once again I woke up at 3:30am, which just put a downer on my whole day.

My body felt so weak from being sick that I didn’t get out of bed until 10am. And all during the night, I was coughing like a madman. I’ve been coughing up phlegm for the past 2 days, which has made it easier to breathe, but the headache I’ve obtained because of it is horrendous.

The rest of the day went by relatively quickly for a change, and nothing exceptional occurred.

I got a call from my good friend Kellyn and we ended up talking for a good hour. We were going to get together yesterday and go on adventures throughout our home city, but because of this relatively spontaneous trip, that couldn’t happen.

For dinner I grilled hamburgers for everyone. Along with it we had salad-which I prepared-and pineapple-which I sliced up my finger while cutting it…

So after dinner, my father wanted me to bring my camera outside and take a picture of something. The “something” was a wild bunny that happened to cross the back lawn. Not only did he tell me to take a picture, he wanted me to sneak up on it to get a closer/better picture.

After dinner, I watched Date Night on my laptop-which seems to be the only thing I can do on it anyways. I swear, the movie gets funnier every time I watch it…

Overall today was a relatively uninteresting, but when you’re out in the middle of a farm country, every day seems to be that way.

“Simplicity is natures first step, and the last of art.” ~Philip Jamess Bailey